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mini movie reviews

Reno 911: Miami

by John Harkness
(Robert Ben Garant) The movie tracks the dumbest cops on earth on a jaunt to a police convention in Miami, where they find they’re the only officers on the street when a bio–terrorist attack leaves all the other cops quarantined in the convention centre. It looks cheap and moves fast, like three episodes of the show crammed into one, so there’s no real reason to shell out theatrical coin for something due on DVD in a very short time, but it is funny and works exactly in the spirit of the TV show. If you enjoy the series, here it is. We were overdue for a remake of Police Academy 6 anyway. 84 min.

The Last King Of Scotland

by Glenn Sumi
(Kevin Macdonald) A political thriller and Faust parable set during the bloody reign of Ugandan dictator Idi Amin (Forest Whitaker). Naive Scottish doctor Nicholas Garrigan (James McAvoy) gets lured into becoming Amin’s personal physician and adviser, realizing too late that his boss has anger management issues. The film is based on Giles Foden’s “fact–inspired” novel, and takes lots of historical liberties. Some of them create great suspense; others seem melodramatic. Above all, it’s a study in point of view, with McAvoy’s impressionable doctor slow to realize the cost of the bargain he’s accepted. Anthony Dod Mantle’s athletic camera work makes the African landscape and dialogue immediate. Scenes crackle with menace, especially when Whitaker—in the role of a lifetime—fills up the screen. 121 min.

Ghost Rider

by John Harkness
(Mark Steven Johnson) Non–screened films are usually crap movies dumped into the market with hopes of an opening weekend to, essentially, trailer the DVD. Ghost Rider isn’t nearly that bad. It’s 20 minutes too long, the effects are cheesy, and it has one of those problems that beset a lot of the Marvel adaptations. But it’s anchored by one of Nicolas Cage’s always fun mad Elvis performances and has a strong supporting cast with the likes of Donald Logue, Eva Mendes, Peter Fonda and Sam Elliott. Ghost Rider, for those who haven’t read the comic book is about a motorcycle stunt rider who in his youth sold his soul to Lucifer to save his father’s life. This didn’t work out well, as deals with the devil usually don’t, and years later, the Devil comes to collect, making our hero into Ghost Rider, a flaming skeleton who works as the devil’s bounty hunter. The Devil’s son shows up searching for a mystical soul contract that’s been out there for more than a century. Mayhem ensues. The weird problem that affects Marvel comic books is their habitual creation of heros who don’t have eyes. Spider–Man, for example. Ghost Rider for another, his head being a flaming skull. It’s a great and striking graphic concept, but it’s a comic book idea. It’s a lousy movie idea, because a flaming skull has no emotional range, rather like a hero whose face is entirely masked, including his eyes. Eyes are what they pay movie stars for. It’s where we read the emotions. Take that away, and anyone could star in movies. 112 min.

Breach

by John Harkness
(Billy Ray) Stars Ryan Phillippe as an ambitious young FBI agent assigned to assist Robert Hanssen (Chris Cooper), the FBI Soviet analyst who basically sold secrets to the Russians. The film’s great strength is Cooper’s performance as a man slowly rotting from within because of the tensions between his ideals and his actions. Its weakness is the fact that no other character has the strength of Hanssen, and no other actor’s willing to do what Cooper does, which is seize each scene in his teeth and shake it. Note: it’s not a thriller, despite the thrillerish hints in the trailer. 111 min.

The Astronaut Farmer

by John Harkness
(Mark Polish) A curious inspirational starring Billy Bob Thornton as a one–time astronaut candidate who’s building a rocket in his barn that he hopes will orbit the earth. And his name is Farmer. The FBI gets wind of it and he gets into very public trouble, but he ain’t gonna let no bureaucrats kill his dream. That’s pretty much the movie. Dull and conventional, it’s the sort of movie that makes you wonder who, exactly, is green–lighting Hollywood movies these days. Nice supporting cast—Virginia Madsen, Tim Blake Nelson, J.K. Simmons, Bruce Willis—but this is barely a renter. If you want to see people making homemade rockets, rent October Sky. 104 min.

The Queen

by Cameron Bailey
stars Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth II in a performance that yanks superlatives from all comers. The story pivots on how Her Majesty and new prime minister Tony Blair react to the death of Princess Diana -- the Queen drawing on centuries of British reserve, Blair keen to feel the people's pain. This conflict began in Britain's shrieking tabloids, but Frears rejects camp hysteria and chooses the mood of a political procedural, punctuated by sharp stabs of humour and social observation. Who knew Liz sleeps with a hot water bottle? Mirren is a perfect collaborator, serving up a master class in minimalism. This is entertaining chamber drama of the highest order.

Norbit

by E. Davies
(Brian Robbins) Gives us Eddie Murphy finally tanking for good. The movie has the tag line, “Have you ever made a really big mistake?” and with Norbit, the once cutting–edge comedic genius certainly has done just that. Murphy once again takes on multiple characters, including the Woody Allen rip–off protagonist Norbit, his morbidly obese, domineering wife Rasputia and his adopted father, ol’ fashioned Chinese stereotype Mr. Wong, in a film that acts as nothing more than another vehicle for Murphy to jerk off all over with his admiteddly considerable talent. What you end up with is a tired and predictable reverse Cinderella story in which Norbit, an orphan, is at the mercy of his cruel in–laws until his childhood sweetheart reappears. The one surprising element of the story is how shocking Murphy’s alter–egos can be, including Rasputia who in any other context would be one of the most depressing and monstrous characters ever committed to film. Everyone, save for Eddie Griffin as the local pimp (surprise!), phones it in on this one. Disgustingly bad. 102 min.

The History Boys

by Cameron Bailey
is sure to warm the heart of any old English schoolboy -- it's got everything but canes and bare bottoms. A class of bright Yorkshire students train for the Oxford and Cambridge entrance exams while quoting Wittgenstein and juggling the plot's various homoerotic demands. Adapted from Alan Bennett's UK stage hit, this is The Dead Poets Society with greater erudition and added furtive groping. Apart from one or two dazzlingly clever exchanges, it suffers from awkward direction and clanging tonal problems. Hytner (The Madness Of King George) brings the stage cast to the film when it could have used star power more suited to moist close-ups.

Music And Lyrics

by John Harkness
(Marc Lawrence) Stars Hugh Grant as a washed up ’80s popstar trying to write a new hit with the help of reluctant collaborator Drew Barrymore. The first hour is charming and funny, in large part because Barrymore’s extreme adorableness frees Hugh Grant to indulge his tendencies towards chilly cynicism. Nice supporting performances from Brad Garrett as Grant’s manager and Third Rock’s Kristen Johnson as Barrymore’s big sister, but the film kind of runs into a plot pile–up in the last half hour. Great, squirm–inducing parody of ’80s pop videos. 103 min.

The Messengers

by Andrew Dowler
(Oxide & Danny Pang) An okay haunted house movie with lots of booga–booga. Unfortunately, we’ve seen it all before. First, the creepy build–up. Then the same payoff: a shock cut to a quick glimpse of something nasty lunging into the camera. It gets monotonous fast, despite the Pang Brothers (The Eye, Re–Cycle) being masters of the tense build–up. The Pangs also deliver their great sense of colour and composition, creating a wonderfully eerie atmosphere. Trouble is, the story—not by the Pangs—is pure cliché; conflicted urban family moves into old farmhouse hoping to make a fresh start. Ghostliness ensues. So do thin characters, a one–joke plot and familiar spooks. Fine if you’re new to the genre, dull if you’re not. 87 min.

Epic Movie

by Andrew Dowler
(Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer) Scary Movie–style parody that takes Narnia for its plotline and runs riffs on The DaVinci Code, Willy Wonka, Harry Potter and a few more. Directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer helmed the wretched Date Movie. This is better, but only because the creators picked better targets. Darrel Hammond as Captain Jack Swallows nicely massacres Johnny Depp’s mannered overacting, and the Willy Wonka scenes have some nice gross–out humour, but most of the gags raise tame chuckles at best. Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, Jayma Mays and Faune A. Campbell as the four orphans who must defeat Gnarnia’s White Bitch are, likewise, merely okay. Wait for the unrated video version. 84 min.

Bridge To Terabithia

by Deirdre Swain
(Gabor Csupo) Stars Josh Hutcherson and AnnaSophia Robb as Jesse and Leslie, bullied fifth–graders who retreat into a magical kingdom of Leslie’s imagination. Both kids give excellent performances, and the film accurately captures the joy and sorrow of Katherine Paterson’s novel, even if Jesse and Leslie’s relationship is drawn less fully here. The CGI, though not top–notch, is used sparingly so it’s not a distraction, unlike the overpowering score. The biggest flaw may be setting the story in the present; it’s a bit hard to believe that a girl who dresses like early Avril Lavigne would spend her days dreaming of palaces in the sky. 95 min.

Because I Said So

by Glenn Sumi
(Michael Lehmann) A painfully bad romantic comedy/ mother–daughter film starring Diane Keaton as a controlling mama who goes online to find Mr. Right for daughter Mandy Moore. Filmmaker Lehmann and his writers provide few surprises. In addition to the clichéd date–interview montage, we get groaners like the older-woman–seeing–porn–online scene, hare–brained reaction shots from the cute dog and not one, but two scenes of empowered women singing girl–group songs. Keaton’s outfits are terrific, but they don’t distract from the lifeless scenes, the worst of which features Keaton asking Moore about orgasms. 102 min.

Twisted

is an Ashley Judd thriller. Sounds familiar. No? She plays a strong, beautiful, conflicted woman. Getting warmer? She's a cop out to discover a betrayal and a serial killer, and things aren't what they seem. Not exactly new. What's truly twisted here isn't Judd and her character's possibly psychopathic tendencies, it's the producers, who think anyone is going to wonder whodunit when director Kaufman keeps pointing flashing neon signs at the clues and writer Sarah Thorp so overfeeds her red herrings that they spit up all over the suspense. Worth watching only to see an over-acting Andy Garcia doing his best Al Pacino. Directed by Philip Kaufman, runs 97 min. [LF]

STARSKY & HUTCH

revamps the 70s cop show with the cast born to play it -- Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Snoop Dogg as Huggy Bear. This movie earns major points on cast and concept alone. Sometimes Stiller and Wilson just standing there in their 70s stud outfits are hilarious. But the drug plot involving Vince Vaughn and a bad moustache is sloppy and forgettable. That may be the parodic idea, but it makes for a listless movie. It's funny, but it's not Zoolander funny. Directed by Todd Phillips, runs 96 min. [CB]

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